Baseball’s Bad Boys – Cheaters DO Prosper : Bytchin

Baseball’s Bad Boys – Cheaters DO Prosper

Posted on Feb 20th, 2009 at 3:24 pm by Megan Bodman in Entertainment, Misc Geek Stuff

Lyke, Oh Em Gee, guys. What happened to Daryl Strawberry enjoying his nose candy, or even Kobe getting off on pre-pubescent girls?! Those are the role models my entire generation idolized. But no, not anymore. Instead of the incredibly illegal and immoral activities that should have resulted in serious jail time or ruined careers, the sports heroes of today have chosen other, lower roads. They actually want to make themselves look better, stronger, tougher all to make these kids happy… and they are willing to go to any means necessary to achieve it. The nerve of those bastards.

If you haven’t figured it out, I’m talking about steroids. Performing Enhancing Drugs. Cheating. Overblown story of the year. However you want to refer to the topic at hand, its your call. It all started, as most of us know, with Jose Canseco. Retired, bored, and apparently looking to stir up some drama, he wrote his bestseller, “Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ‘Roids, Smash Hits, and How Baseball Got Big”

The book’s bestseller status is hardly because of it’s literary genius. Instead, it spoke to the deep-seated dream in all of us… the chance to back-stab everyone of your coworkers. The book called out players from Mark Mcgwire, to record-holding Barry Bonds, to MVP Miguel Tejada, Sammy Sosa, and the ever-aloof Roger Clemens who, in desperate attempts to save their own burly butts ratted out other players by the dozen in federal court and in front of Congress.

Roger Clemens swears to tell the truth in front of Congress. Did anyone explain to him what that means?

The newest all-star in question is Alex Rodriguez, of the New York Yankees. A-Rod, you A-hole. Now his entire multi-million dollar empire is in question, from his numerous sponsors to his contract with the Yankees. Should have taken the pay cut and come to the Red Sox, buddy. You reap what you sow.

Honestly, I cheered when Barry Bonds hit his gabillionth home run. Watching the Bash Brothers smash forearms after a big play was the highlight of a game to me. If these players feel such pressure to improve their abilities that they are willing to resort to cheating, shouldn’t we be looking at the pressure put on them from the MBL? Or even us, the fans? If players want to juice up, I say let them. Juiced players hitting the ball out of the park are more entertaining than the clean ones barely able to tap a foul ball. Are we ever going to stop watching? Probably not. And some secrets are best kept swept under the rug.

Lastly, a quick shout out to Olympic all-star Michael Phelps, who is in worlds of trouble after pictures of him smoking marijuana were leaked to the press. You’re not using steroids, Mike, and kudos to you for paying tribute to the law-breaking celebs of yesteryear. Thank you.

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