The Twelve Steps of Myspacers Anonymous : Bytchin

The Twelve Steps of Myspacers Anonymous

Posted on Feb 23rd, 2009 at 2:53 pm by Megan Bodman in Entertainment, Misc Geek Stuff, Tech Toys

Come on people. Go throw a Frisbee. Go for a walk. Hell, watch TV. Just stop going online!!

Kids claiming “Myspace addiction” are now getting away with failing classes, skipping school, and rather than detention, get to attend a lecture in the auditorium during a class they probably didn’t want to be in anyway. Even Wikipedia is talking about it for crying out loud!
In China, you can go to rehab for your Internet disorder and receive electric shock therapy along with intensive counseling so you can regain your life. Well, they’re a little nutty over there anyway, but still.

Dammit, people, turn off your computers. Delete your MySpace. Change your e-mail. Not that difficult. And if life still seems impossible, here’s a gift from me to you. The Twelve Steps of MySpacers Anonymous, according to Megan. I just saved you millions on Chinese rehab. Thank me later.

1. We admitted we had no power over Myspace and we would never have the biggest mob/best poker hand/cutest bumper stickers.

2. Came to believe that a power greater than Tom could restore us to sanity.

3.Made a decision to turn our keyboards and monitors over to the care of that power that is completely not Tom or Tila Tequila

4. Made a MySpace inventory…. (you really added the “Sorority Girls App” didn’t you, you sick bastard).

5. Admitted to Tom, Tila, and anyone who reads your bulletins that we just couldn’t handle the addiction anymore.
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6. Were entirely ready to have Tom delete our profiles.

7. Humbly changed our status mood to “bummed”

8. Made a list of all persons we had spammed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9.Made direct amends to such people, except when to do so would result in more spam in our inboxes.

10.Continued to monitor our inbox, and when Myspace called, promptly deleted it.

11.Sought through prayer and meditation for the strength to be able to delete our Myspace accounts once and for all.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, logged into FaceBook and started all over again!

Some real suggestions if you think you have a Myspace problem

Some more funny Myspace 12 step jokes

Caught in the Net: How to Recognize the Signs of Internet Addiction—and a Winning Strategy for Recovery

Another look at the whole issue

Don’t know if you’re a Myspace Addict? If you have a few minutes watch these kids.