The Force is With Me : Bytchin

The Force is With Me

Posted on May 26th, 2010 at 4:00 pm by Megan in Misc Geek Stuff

I’m almost entirely ashamed to admit this. Promise not to tell? Shhh…

I’ve converted to a Stars Wars geek.

I love Star Wars. I suck at PhotoShop. Don't hate.

But it’s not my fault. We are too poor for cable and a friend let us borrow his t.v. and DVD player for the time being. The only DVDs we have? Star Wars, the entire series plus the 3 hour “behind the scenes” documentary. Scotty has been obsessed with these films since he was a little kid. He watched them all in theaters, fell in love with Leia, then Amidala. He tried to feel the force and pretended a flashlight was a light saber. He’s like a little kid when it comes to these movies and to his dismay, I’d never seen a single one.

And so I’ve watched. Over and over. I’ve followed the paths of Luke and Leia and Anakin and the Senator. I gagged when I saw Jabba, rolled my eyes at Jar Jar Binks and gushed over the Ewoks. My week long love affair with these cinematic classics has me thinking… Has anyone else noticed how sexual these movies are?

Seriously. And I don’t just think its because I’m cutting Scotty off until marriage. Or until he cleans the kitchen, whichever comes first. For real, though. There’s this mystical force that lets everyone ‘feel’ each other, an understated but still obvious incestuous love interest, strangely phallic glowing swords that swing around in frantic attempts to prove who is ‘stronger’. And don’t even get me started on the vaguely homoerotic relationship between a flamboyant gold robot lacking genitalia and a short droid who can get anywhere he needs to go by sticking his rod in the hole and spinning… Here’s one of my favorite lines that left me in giggles for a better part of Return of the Jedi.

Vader: “My son is with them.”
Emperor: “Are you sure?”
Vader: “I have… felt him… my master”
Emperor: “…strange that I have not…”

I know I have a dirty mind, but c’mon! A nun would pick up on the sexual tension in some of these scenes! I think George Lucas created a little bit more than just his science fiction fantasy.

Even with my obscene mind working over time, I’m still in love with these movies. They simply make me happy. Let me leave you with a conversation between Scotty and I as we laid in bed last night. He sleeps with a desk fan right next to his face every night. Hey, in FL heat, anything to keep cool helps.

Me: I can’t fall asleep.
Padawan Scotty (waving his hand in front of my face): You are going to sleep now.
Me: Your Jedi mind tricks suck.
(ten minutes later)
Me: It’s so hot.
Jedi Scotty: I know, but I’m not turning down the AC, we’ll pay a fortune for it.
Me: Why are you complaining? You’re wrapped up in blankets so you must not be that bad off.
Master Scotty (reaching to unplug the fan): Do you want this? It’ll help keep you cool.
Me (waving my hand in front of his face): No, just wanted to prove my Jedi Powers can get anything I want out of you.
Darth Scotty: That has nothing to do with your mind tricks, its your boobs.

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