Stop Judging Me, Health Department
Posted on Sep 14th, 2011 at 1:18 pm by Megan in I should be working, I'll probably regret saying this, Stuff best kept to myself
I went to the health department today. I filled out all the paperwork and very honestly answered that I didn’t have any steady income. I saw the lady behind the desk give what I totally thought was an accusatory look that said “I know you’re lying and want free health care. Move to Canada, bitch.”
So I panicked a little bit, smiled my most innocent girl smile and said, “I get by” with a shrug that I totally hope said “I’m really not a liar and I like America very much and don’t really want to move to Canada, so please just let me see your doctor and stop judging me.”
Apparently, my shrug must have said something more like “I’m a dirty, dirty whore.” because when the Nurse came into the room, she had a bag carrying all of this:
The bag says ITS ALL ABOUT YOU. There's gotta be a joke in there somewhere.
24 of them. Twenty-four. Two dozen rubber-y, latex, “lightly lubricated” things.
*talking about sex or anything that goes on down there makes me all squirmy and makes my face turn bright red so, yes, I much prefer to call them ‘things’ thankyouverymuch**
Twenty-four. And I have another appointment in two weeks. Fourteen days. Huh.
I think the Health Department assumed that I am a professional. Thanks, I think? That must have been some shrug.
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